is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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