I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
lol hangovers are for mortals.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
