Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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