I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
