He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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