it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
