It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
