So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
