I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
