brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
