Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
home. puking in laundry basket.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
