Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
