But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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