how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
