Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
