I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
