Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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