it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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