I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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