Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
