just tell him i said nine months
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
