I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you would pick up someone in the library
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
