good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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