You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
