I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
