My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
