I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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