She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
