Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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