Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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