I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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