The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
