ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Let's get the cat blown out
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
