Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
