There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
