My hand turned me down
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
