Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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