I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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