I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
