no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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