..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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