you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
