just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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