Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
