I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
