i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
it's great music for shaving your balls
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
