i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Come see our sink grown plant.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
