I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
