Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
