She said her name was "party"
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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