Kiss
Puke
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Randomize
