You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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