is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
