Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
